Sailor Padme!
by Arcadia Silver
Summary: **GASP!!** Sailor Moon/Star Wars spoof! Padme is granted the power of a senshi, Anankin thinks she's a Sith, and the newest crew member calls her fat!! DUCK AND COVER!


Sailor Padme!!

A Star Wars/ Sailor Moon Crossover ficcie

By Arcadia Silver 

AN: Am I on crack?? I think so, I have to be under the influence of something to even think of this fic. 

(Humour/ Pro Anakin-Padme) 

            Quee-, excuse me, SENATOR Padme Amidala sat in her quaters in her lake resort on Naboo. Well, she sat rather begrudingly. She had been literally forced here at lightsaber point. Of all teh nerve of Anakin and Obiwan...literally kidnapping her to her own home. Waking her up at the un-Forcely hour of 3:30 in the night, with packed suitcases, and carring her on her cruiser, whisking her away from the Senate buildings on Coursant. Why? Because they said she needed a vacation. She twitched slightly. When she got back...oh how they would pay!! She didn't need her period to make her act like a total bit----uh,---Sith. 

            With a bang, the doors opened up and Anakin Skywalker, hands down the most gorgeous Padawan in all of the galaxy, came strutting in like a self-satisfyied peacock. He held something under his arm, hidden by the folds of his Jedi robes. He stopped a few feet from Padme's chair, not willing to get within striking distance of the tempermental politician. He grinned what he hoped to be a kind, soothing smile and cleared his throat. 

            "Hey Padme..."

            "It's Senator Amidala to you Padawan Skywalker." she snapped. Anakin flinched..whenever she called him that, she was mad at him, and that was almost every hour of the day. Especially on her perio-

            "What do you want?" she snipped again. He shook his head, give it to her and get out his mind screamed. He couldn't agree more. He took a breath and pulled out the hidden object from his robes. 

            "Here, this is for you!!" he sqeaked as he ran out the room. He could ahve sworn he saw a vase by the window move towards him. This was all the proof he needed, Padme was a Sith!!! He had to tell Obiwan!!

            Padme blinked as the doors banged closed and the strain of Anakin's voice screaming something about a smith....whatever. she was sure that all Jedi were crazy..it was all a question of degree. She looked down at her lap at the thing Anakin had dropped on her lap. Brown eyes meet clear green ones. 

            "AWWWWWWWW!!! HOW KAWAII!!" Padme squealed in unusal girlish joy. SHe held up and small, fluffy bundle of orange and white stripes, and claws that Anakin had produced. It was a kitten...soft and warm and fuzzy and purring it's ribcage apart in Padme's hands. Something in Padme kicked...most likely that crappy lunch they served on the ship, and she brought the kitten to her chest and hugged it. It was then she noticed two things. 

            One...the kitten shedded, small tendrils of white and orange fur was left on her chest after she hugged it. 

            Two......the cat could talk. 

            "OWWW!! Woman, let go of my chest, I can't breath you coo-coo human!" the feline rattled. Padme, in shock, dropped the cat on the marble floor, where it promplty landed on it's feet. The senator rubbed her eyes and shook her head. 

            "Maybe I do need a vacation...I just heard that cat talk..." she exclaimed. The kitten puffed up in an expression of hurt dignity. 

            "Hey, you did hear me talk! I'm a talking cat, got a problem?" he asked, it sounded like a guy at least. 

            "Uh...no...not really, I just never seen one talk before.." she whispered. 

            "Yeah, well I never seen air, but i believe it exsists!" it shot back. "The names Cresta, who are you??"  it purred. 

            "I'm Padme, I guess I'm your owner..." she whispered. Cresta shrugged, and went into the task of cleaning himself. Padme looked on, wondering if she had finally lost it. She leaned down and looked at Cresta closely, and caught sight of another unique feature of the cat. 

            "Hey, what's that symbol on your forehead??"  she asked, tapping the area above his eyes. Cresta rolled his eyes up to where her finger pointed. 

            "What symbol?" he asked. Padme pointed to a mirrior hanging in front of a table. He padded over and jumped up gracefully. He sat down and looked at his relfection. Perched on his face was a blue-glowing symbol of an eight point star surounded by a ring.    Cresta blinked and walked closer to get a better look. He gazed at himself a few long, silent minuets before going totally balistic. 

            "NO WAY!! NO WAY!! HOLY FORCE, IT CAN'T BE?? IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!" He hopped up and down in the manner of Chancellor Palpatine did at that dinner when a mouse ran across the table. Padme wondered if it was her fate to always be surrounded by crazy people. Her musings were interupted by Cresta jumping on her lap and hugging her waist. 

            "Princess!! Princess!! I've finally found you Princess!!!" he sobbed into her dress. 

            "What are you talking about?" 

            Cresta looked up at her, tears brimming in his eyes. "Miss, you are the lost Princess I have been looking for for the past 2000 years!" he exclaimed. 

            "I'm what??" she cried. No way that cat, talking or otherwise, could be 2000 years old. Cresta stood up and nodded. 

            "Of course your confused. You were sent home after Beryl attacked the Moon Kingdom...but Queen Serentiy over-shot and sent you this this distant galaxy. She couldn't aim for a barn wall if it was three feet infront of her. And Serena was worse...at least the Queen could aim in the right direction....some royal family." he paused. "Anyways, I've finally found you, Sailor Evrae!!" he shouted. 

            "Wait, your telling me that I was a princess some..2000 years ago, now your calling me a sailor?? Make up your mind!" 

            "No,no!! The planet you were from was Evrae. You were it's princess, thus, it's best warrior. You were whats called there a Sailor Senshi. Sailor Evare, guardian of the forces of the Spirit Plane!" Padme sighed. 

            "I'm not believing this...sweet Force, this is too much." Cresta looked at her, and jumped down. 

            "I guess the best way to prove it to you is to give you something that's yours." He crouched on his haunches and spang into the air, did a neat twisting flip, and landed. As he did, something fell into Padme's lap. She picked it up gingerly, it looked like  one of those novelty pens that unscewed to show a bubble wand and bubble solution in it. She looked it up and down. It was Silver and deep purple. On the top of it was the same symbol that Cresta had on his head. 

            "Okay, this is nice..but what's it for?" she asked. 

            "It's your henshin pen. Hold it above your head and say your incantation, and you'll transform into Sailor Evrae." 

            Still skectical, Padme asked again. "Okay, whats the incantation?" She didn't believe in magic, but then again, she didn't believe in talking cats or Jedi's with brains. Okay, so two outta three wasn't bad. 

            "It's been modifyed to help you so far from home..so, hold it up and repeat after me..."

            "Evrae Force Crystal Power!!" 

            "..........Evraeforcecrystalpower..."

            "No!! Put some passion into it!" 

            "Fine!!" Padme snapped. She held the pen above her head and shouted, but not too loud. "Evrae Force Crystal Power!!!" 

            Lights flashed, and Padme found herself stark naked, glowing with light. She instinctively stuck her foot out and piroutted on it. Fine silvery dust, like stardust, spewed from out of the pen, and covered her torso. It flashed, and her body was covered in a body suit that had a large bow stuck on the front. More unvoluntary spinning and she had knee-high boots on, as well as purple gloves. With one last spin, which she preformed with a flourish, a short skirt wrapped around her hips. A tiara and earrings glittered themselves on her, and she was done. 

            "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS???" she practially screamed. She tugged at the plum-colored bow, and inspected her new image in the mirror.....she looked....

            "Dumb..this outfit is dumb! Where's my other clothes??" she asked. Cresta hopped up on the chair she had been sitting in, and looked her up and down. 

            "Not bad, still fits, thought a little tight in the stomach area..must have gained some weight in this life time...but it's missing something..." 

            "Wait a second....are you calling me fat?" 

            He wisely pretended he hadn't heard. "What is it.....Ah! I know!!" With that, he jumped up again, twisting in midair, and this time, a small mask appeared on the vanity by her. She picked it up. It was small, white, and only hid the area around her eyes. 

            "What's this for?" she asked, holding it up to her face. 

            "It'll help disgiuse you. Our enemies might be able to connect the Soldier of Love and Justice, Sailor Evarae, to the illustrious Senator Padme Amidala. That could spell trouble for your friends and family." he relpied. 

            "It only covers my eyes!! How do you expect them NOT to reconize me, or my voice?" she asked. 

            "Plothole"

            "Okay. Then why haven't these enemies just attacked me before this?"

            "Plothole"

            "Do you think I'm honestly gonna call myself the 'Soldier of Love and Justice'?"

            "Yes, because the author is gonna make you." 

            Padme turned red and turned to the corner where the author was typing at her computer, her mother walking back and forth behind her as she did. Padme stepped off the set and tapped on the glass window that seperated them. The author looked up. 

            Arcadia: What?

            Padme: I have something to talk to you about.

            Arcadia: What?

            Padme: This "Soldier of Love and Justice" thing.

            Arcadia: So? This is a paraody of both Star Wars and Sailor Moon...that's a catch phrase from Sailor Moon.

            Padme: I don't care. Change it. 

            Arcadia: No

            Padme: CHANGE IT!!!

            Arcadia: NO!!!

            Padme: I SAID CHANGE IT!!

            Arcadia: LIKE HELL I WILL!!

            Padme: CHANGE IT!!!

            Cresta: Hoo-boy. While those two battle it out, we'll go to a commerical break. Stay tuned folks, Sailor Evrae will face her enemies for the first time! Hold on to your seats!!


End file.
